Thursday, January 24, 2013

Name Borrowing: A biggie?

This may be a touch hypocritical coming from me, since in the past I have sort of.... mocked those who have insisted on keeping potential baby names a secret, but here I am understanding all too well. 

Deciding on a name for a child can be incredibly difficult. It's one thing to find something you like, but getting approval from your spouse is something else entirely. Or at least, that's how it is for me. Well, one blessed day I discovered a name that I just knew I was destined to use. I fearfully suggested it my husband, afraid that my perfect, beautiful name would be shot down immediately. To my absolute surprise, he actually liked it and gave my hopes a monumental boost by telling me that we could probably use it. Bliss. From that day forward (which was almost two years ago) I have imagined this perfect little angel with a perfectly selected name which he/she would define with nobility.

If you've ever been an expectant mother or if you haven't, but already have your perfect names chosen, you're probably familiar with this feeling of confidence. Maybe you're also smart enough to keep said name a guarded secret. I haven't been.

I have told several people about my "name" trusting that not only is it too unusual for someone else to use, but that my friend, knowing that I was so fond of the name and FULLY INTENDING TO USE IT, wouldn't dream of "borrowing" the name.

Now, of course I try to be a mature individual and rationalize that even if my child ended up knowing ten other kids with the same name, that he/she would in fact define their name as the unique individual they are. 

Because guess what? I'm using that darn name no matter what. So I'm not sure why I care so much. I guess I'm just shocked by the feeling which so closely resembled rage that completely consumed me when I felt my chosen name had the potential of being duplicated. Immature? Absolutely. Selfish? Yes. 

So, what about you? Are you the "surprise" type that keeps your name a secret until the baby is born? Or are you an open book, carefree and jolly?


  1. I'll tell some people who I know aren't even close to having kids, but not many. I really don't want people taking my names. So I understand, all too well. It's not "borrowing" the name at that point; it's taking it :P And I don't want that to happen to me.

  2. The title of this blog was enough to make me come and read right away because I am very passionate about this topic and soooooooooooooooooooo many people think I am annoying about it, including my family. But we are the secretive kind {I think you already knew that}. For several reasons, one being which I don't want people's opinions about what they think of our names, two I personally want to meet the baby because I personally believe that these babies come to earth with their own names and I never want it to be my selfish decision but a spiritual one.... that is why I think so many parents get a good feeling about their babies names. Names are our identity, it makes up who we are and sculpts everything we do/done/want/thrive/accomplish into one word {ie Ashley or Sam}. Names to me are a very sacred responsibility that I take very seriously. Lastly I don't share names because what if I don't end up using that name this pregnancy, OR what if someone else has their baby before me?!?! I just planted a seed in this persons mind and now I am at conflict with how special it is to me and the baby. People take serious offense to this and tell me I am dumb for not sharing, but who CARES!!! It's nothing personal... it's just the way I feel about baby names!!! Me and my husband have unique names that come from an origin of much meaning and spiritual thought.

    Now I hope you do name your baby this name!!! You felt inspired for a reason!!! And I will tell you you are not the first person I have heard this happening to!! And they aren't "borrowing" the name.... it's not like they can give it back when they are done or when you say "HEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY!!! That was my idea I want it back!" It straight up is stealing!!! Just say it as it is!!! And this stuff bugs me toooooooooooooo!! Someone from high school asked me if they could use my sons name and I straight up said no, that I don't feel comfortable with that because of all the spiritual meaning it meant to us and how hard we thought about his identity what it meant to him and to us. And people just want to be original and different with out the work and IT DRIVES ME NUTS!!! Just go AWAY!!! ahahahha It bugs me because all the sentimental meaning of names to me and our children is instantly vanished because of flattery and someone else's desire to be different. And 20 years ago there wasn't this trend of baby names. So it makes it so much harder now. And I admire that you were/are open about your names and it makes me sad that you experienced this!!! But the only thing I can tell you is if it is meant to be, when you meet your next baby you know whether or not you still want to use that name and that will be your spiritual inspiration! And for you sake I hope that the desire still lives because I bet it is an awesome name!!! And I secretly want to know what it is only because of my curiosity but I obviously respect people for not wanting to share their names. And if you are pregnant and people ask if you have any names picked out feel free to straight up lie and say "Noooooo I am totally stumped this time around!!!!" and that will end all questions. Had to learn that the hard way ahhahaha!!!

  3. But you go and name your baby whatever you want and it doesn't make you selfish or immature about being upset.... it makes you passionate and thoughtful!!! And that my friend is what every parent should strive for in naming their child. Not some weird competition or ego boost/complex!!! But a name that will let their child be known through this life and the next, a name that is their identity because you cared enough to be spiritually in tuned to what THEY wanted!!!

    {Sorry I know I am a little passionate about it, and I know that I sound silly but for reals!!!! These spirits aren't any different in the womb as they are out, and just like any other revelation I believe we are given inspiration to what is best for them.... even in the process of their name giving. If you want to talk more about it I found a small scripture that confirms my OWN PERSONAL thoughts ;) ahahahhaha ok done with the crazy talk!!!}

    PS I didn't realize I wrote so much, but it wouldn't let me post this as one comment because apparently I hit the max characters ahhahah :/ that is embarrassing!

  4. I LOVE this post. I know EXACTLY how you feel, I had many a name "stolen" from me simply because their babies were born sooner. I am interested to learn (in secret) this special name of yours and swear a tribal vow to neither borrow, nor steal, this beautiful, noble name.

  5. I'm with Amy on this hahahahahahahah. But I always feel guilty for asking because we don't ever talk about our names but if you share with her please share with me! PS I texted you.... PPS why does the post above say your daughter?!?! Am I seriously missing something?

    1. I'm not sure what "daughter" you're referring to, McKinley. :)
      btw, I got a new phone number so I'm sorry if you've been texting me or anything and I haven't responded. I'll send you a private message via email with my #. :)

    2. Oooooh, I just realized you were talking about the most recent post. There are four contributing authors to this blog. Amy posted that last one with the video and she's the one with the daughter. :)

  6. Man, when I first read your post I was like, "eh, I'd name my kid the thief-ed name anyway." BUT THEN Haolepinos set me straight!! NO. It is not okay people! We parents slave and agonize over the PERFECT name. I'd totally rage on that stealer. I'd bite their toes and take their candy.


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